2012 ~ The start of something new

Every year just before the new year starts, everyone makes a list of resolutions of things that they're going to do for the new year. I usually did that. Hell, I even made lists of Summer Goals every summer. This year, I didn't. I kept thinking about making the list, but I never did. The new year came, and a few days went by and I decided that I wanted the resolution to eat/be healthier. I want to be healthier because I have so many health problems and risks and I'm just sick of them, so I'm going to really settle down into eating better and taking the long way to class and such. More days went by and I read some random acts of kindness, not just ones from Random Acts, but just people being kind and awesome to other people. I resolved to want to be more like that this year, and hopefully each year after that. I want people to be united in kindness and compassion for one another, and to quote Dr. Suess: "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." And I now find myself with books in my hands, and the familiarity of devouring them in my younger years. I read all the time, and not fanfiction, actual books, so many I can barely remember titles. Now-a-days I mostly just read insane amounts of fanfic and some of it is novel quality. Much of it, not so much. And as much as I like reading it, I'm certain the smut is rotting my brain. So, I'm finding myself adding again to the list: read more books. Novels. Actual things that will help me be a better teacher, student, person.

The point I'm trying to make is, that most people are usually giving up on new years resolutions at this point, and me...

I'm just getting started.

Are you ready for this? Because it’s fucking unbelievable.

Are you ready for this? Because it’s fucking unbelievable.

Anyway, I moved into my dorm with 11 cans of ravioli, 2 cans of spaghetti, and 1 can of beef-a-roni. I know this, because I fucking hate beef-a-roni, and it must have gotten into my cans be mistake after shopping with my grandma. Anyway, I ate ravioli like every other day, and one day on the second or third week I came in and looked up at my Chef cabinet (‘cause this was the good shit, name brand), and it somehow looked bare. So, I counted and noticed that both my spaghetti and beef-a-roni were missing. Well, I ate one spaghetti previously, but I know that I didn’t eat the other two things. I kept quite about it, since I don’t like confrontation, and my Chef and ramen (which also started missing) were lasting me, so I was fine.

A week or so later, of my roommates came back into my room and asked if I had seen her bacon. Bacon is srs bsns. I had not. She asked around more and no one has seen it. She put up a missing poster on the fridge in a fit of passive aggression -which I liked - and from then on I knew that I was not alone in this endeavor.

Then, I decided to go shopping. I went all kinds of crazy since this dorm has a kitchen in my room. A full kitchen. I bought a bag of chicken breasts, turkey bacon, boxes of stuffing and instant potatoes, rice and noodle sides and more ravioli(the off-brand this kind because the earlier batch was from a fuck-awesome sale). I was all kinds of excited, but also, I was very cautious, since someone was stealing my shit. I though, “I’ll put my name on everything, in case no one knew before that my stuff is not communal.” And so I did. On every item I wrote my name in blue permanent marker and put everything away.

It was going good. That first week, nothing seemed to be missing. I was excited, thinking I stopped the thievery. Then, one night I came home from class and there was discussion in the kitchen. One of my suitemates (I should probably mention that I live with 4 other girls, 2 are roommates and 2 are suitemates) was missing chicken - as in someone opened her chicken and took like six pieces out. Yeah. Also, my roommate was missing something, and I quickly ran to my cabinet, and recounted my items. My teriyaki noodles were gone.

Another morning I was studying with a friend that I brought to our room, and I decided I wanted some of my spinach dip and crackers. So I went to my room, where I kept them on my desk, and grabbed the box. Now, in a box of crackers, there are three rolls of crackers. Three. And of course, I knew I ate one roll, but I did not expect only one roll to be chillin’ in that box. I voiced my concern about this, because it was in my room, but at this point, we had no one to blame, and so I blamed a ghost, since other crazy things were happening as well.

After the teriyaki noodle disappearance, I - and the rest of the room - made an effort to lock the front door. We told our R.A. and he informed the Hall Director, and by Fall Break (a nice extended weekend Thurs-Sun), they decided to change our lock core. I was excited, since the other lock was a bit shifty. So, new locks, and a hastily written note [you and I both know you don’t belong here, close this cabinet and go] I felt good enough to go home and leave my food behind. Although, another suitemate voiced her concern that it was definitely an inside job.

Meaning I trust these girls, but one of them is a liar.

Anyway, after this point, nothing was missing, it was out in the open and everything was fine.

Wrong.

Two weeks of safety, and then I decided one glorious weekday morning that I was in the mood for some turkey bacon. I had of course eaten some of it, so it was open, but when I looked in that freezer, there was no package of bacon. None. If bacon was srs bsns, turkey bacon was v srs bsns. When my roommate whose bacon was previously missing came back from class, I told her or my distraught. We had all thought it was over, but no. She checked her items, and someone had ransacked her drawer in the fridge, and taken some cheese and spilled olive juice on her apples. D:

Together, we compiled a note, and then a suitemate came in, and noted that the tray of wantons in the fridge was full the night before. Also, she had just bought candy (kitkats and reeses) the night before and it was now open, and some was missing. Speaking of which, the roommate who was working on the note, found a kit-kat wrapper at her desk and was like “what the hell”. She doesn’t like those. Also, the trash had been taken out that morning.

We had all decided at this point that there is one girl who does not check out: My other roommate. She’s been heard banging around in the kitchen at night, and my other suitemate had found her with food had cooked strewn across the kitchen early that morning, which she had cleaned up by the time that I got up.

(She is currently sitting across the room from me, and I’m a little stressed.)

This leads us to where we are currently. In need of an intervention, because this morning, I opened my cabinet, and I found a half-eaten muffin which came from my good roommates batch of muffins which someone had pigged out on last night since she was down from 11 to 4.

So this is my life. And I’m not sure what to do. I don’t like accusing people, but she’s highly likely to be it. I hope we figure this out soon.

I miss my fucking turkey bacon.

525,600 MINUTES

So, my last Final of sophomore year is in the morning, I still have 2.5 years ahead of me in this college business, but I found something last year that I never dreamed I'd find.

I found people that I want to be around constantly. I found the best friends I've ever had. I love them all so much, and In two days, I will be separated from them by 106 miles. That doesn't seem like much, but I cannot afford the gas money to come up often.

I'm scared for the future, because I know that even though we want to keep in touch and all (and yes we have facebook, but I don't think that even that will suffice), that I will lose them all eventually. I'm not sure where I want to be in the future when I teach, but I fear that we will all not be near each other. I doubt so many music teachers can get jobs so close by. Even if we teach different grade levels.

Sometimes I stop to think and all of this comes crashing upon me, and I literally have to cry. I've become too attached to these people, and this summer, worse than last summer, is going to torture me.

This seems really lame, but I mean, you'd have to know what I've been through to know how I feel, and this is just... wow.

TALKING TO MYSELF IN PUBLIC, AND DODGING GLANCES ON THE TRAIN...

So, am back at college, and didn't make Chamber. My schedule pretty much sucks. I go from one end of the campus to the other, and back again, and back again yet one more time EVERY TUESDAY AND THURSDAY. Tuesdays get even worse, because I have to go back across one more time. Someone is getting me a bike, so I will be better next week, but 10 minutes for a 20 minute journey is not how I wanted my life to go. Just sayin'

So freaking happy to be back with my choir buddies, but depressed since I am not in a choir with them (so now our group name seems silly). We are getting Anna caught up on the Office. Such fantasticness.

Also, I think that if I could just be in Survey of Classroom Instruments all day, I would be really happy. Elementary ed. is rubbing off on me. Oh noes!

Right now, I want to kill things because my days suck so bad. And now for the next 3 weeks I have to carry my guitar around ALL DAY without a case or strap (especially since my guitar is broken in the strap front...).

I'm going job hunting again tomorrow (I only have 1 class, then convo, and I am done, so it's a good day) . I am so poor. I have so many expenses that fin aid can't cover, and I don't even get that money until like 4 weeks from now...

So yeah, that's what's going on with me.

SAVIN IT UP, SAVORING EVERY OUNCE OF SUNLIGHT

So, yesterday was THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

I woke up at 8:30am too excited to roll over and sleep anymore. I went down and went on my normal morning walk with my gma. Once we got back, I spent the next couple of hours freaking out and getting ready for the best day ever.

I had my shirt, I packed my bag. I was ready. No one else was. :(

We finally left the house at 12:45, embarking on the supposedly 1 hour trip to Chicago. Even this portion of the trip couldn't go right. We arrived at the Taste by 3:05pm. I was going to go stand in line at 3:30, after I had food. "If only I had gotten here earlier," I kept thinking, proceeding to the back of a line spanning the length of the pavilion, and looking over to BNL on the stage sound checking. This was magic in and of itself. I didn't have my camera at the ready, so I missed an improptu rap from Ed. I was terrified I wasn't even going to make it into the pavilion. Watching them from the screen would have been devastating. Or If I did, I was going to have to be in the back, and barely see them. I had waited for 7 years to see this band.

Finally, 5:00 came, and people started to trickle into the seating area. I was freaking out. People who had advance let in tickets already spanned front and center. As I went in, I saw the sign that said, no audio/video recording. I was taken aback, but I figured, if the event staff can't seee it happenening, what are they going to do? Plus, some of them are imcompetant and wouldn't even care/know it's wrong. It didn't stop me from getting spaztic everytime they came down the aisle...

Speaking of aisle, when I finally made it though the hand stamp and bag search, I dashed down toward the front, spotting an aisle seat on row 11. PERFECT VIEW OF THE STAGE! Not too far away, I could see it all.

The shoe finally started at 5:40pm or so, and the Ladies came out and immediately launched into "Get in Line." I was in total awe. I had heard live shows in recording, and watched vids, but being there, it was different. It just was something else.

And they played 4 of the new songs they been in the studio recording up until Friday. It was amazing to get to hear these songs, and see that BNL is just fine without Steve. I knew they would. Something most (ex) fans don't understand is that Steve, even as a co-founding member was only 1/5 of the band. And these new songs, especially "How Long" and "Summertime" are their most rockin' songs yet. I think Summertime will definitely be my summer jam. <3

I think my highlight, though, would have to been Kevin Hearn singing "Sound of your Voice," live, right there in front of me. I think that is easily my favorite song from them, I have like 6 versions of it on my ipod.

When they had "finished," and took a bow after a really awesome version of "If I had a Million Dollars," I ran up the aisle and took some pics of them bowing and waving. After they left, a sound guy came out and waved at us to keep cheering, then disappeared after them. BNL came back out a few seconds later, and launched into "What a Good Boy." One of my top favorite songs by BNL, and that Steve usually sings. Ed nailed it. They finished again with "One Little Slip," the song they had wrote for the movie "Chicken Little." I dashed up towards the stage again for last minute picks, and they left.

Something I was not expecting, Ed came back out and said that they would be taking pics, autographs and trying to meet as many of us as they could. I had to find this table, and asked like 3 even staffers, finally asking the Mayor-lady that brought them to the Taste. Yes, I talked to a very important Chicagoian figure, and all I wanted to know was where to go for BNL. she pointedd out the table, and there was already a crowded line. I was scared now that I would be wasting time and that they'd be gone by the time I got to the front. I was in line behind a girl who had gone on one of the cruises, and a fair few drunks. Behind me, a woman and her son, and may others. In my journey to the front, I misplaced my $20 bill. >.< so there was no getting the awesome Snacktime book for me, for them to sign. Luckily I had a map of the Taste that I was going to keep anyway, since it displayed that the Ladies were playing... I heard fun stories from the fans around me. In this line, though, was theother highlight of my day. As it is Chicago, and there is Lake Michigan RIGHT THERE, there were Seagully birds flying all about. One shit on my head.

When I finally got to the front of the line. Ed took my map and signed it, and I got my picture, and since I was alone, I had to take it on my own, and I kinda am really depressed that my head covered most of Ed, but he's in there! And I really love the picture I gotof them posing with one of the guys in front of me-I can cut him out. But this was so amazing. After my pic, I looked up and Jim Creeggan looked at me, and winked. then he said "How are you doing?" I was like, OMG, Jim is talking to me. This moment is framed in my mind FOREVER!

I wished that Kev would have looked up. I wanted him to know that the songs he writes are so good. He's an amazing songwriter, and I mean this. But, I collected my map and left in a daze.

THE BRAVEST THING I'VE EVER DONE...

I have managed to make a blog post everyday so far. Yes it's only day 3, but I doubt I can continue on this way for long. I have a Yard sale coming up, and I should be home going through my shit for that, I wonder if mom is. I'm excited to sell my shit and get money.

So, recently, especially after watching Eagle Eye (which I liked to the extreme!!) I have started liking Shia LaBeouf. lol This is just funny to me, since my former (EVIL) roommate had a crush on him, and I was like, "eh." But I entirely see the appeal...

>.<

I'm getting in my fill of vlogs. I freaking love Youtube, except when it denies me like it did last week. Right now I am watching McCain get Barack Rolled. Oh man, Rick Rolling is so much fun.

I also found MyLifeIsG which is gangsta... I think it's pretty hilarious. there are now all these fml, mlia, mlig sites and I got rejected from fml. I think my story was pretty embarrassing, but it was apparently not sex-crazed enough.

I think I like seeing the vlogs and blogs and such beacuse I like this side of human nature. this is reality. Not those shit shows on MTV. I watch them every now and again, because my mom thrives on them, and I get so pissed at the fake people that think it's okay to be like that on tv or at all.

bleh.

I NEED A HERO!

holdin' out for a hero til the morning light.

ok, so I am now taking Hero's Quest this summer so I don't lose my scholarship! cuz there is no way for me to not pass this! It's like about King Arthur and shiv. I can handle this. <3

Yay! now all I need to do is come up with $558 plus books. And I am sure I can find the books, yo. if I have to have my grandma stop by Springfield on the way back to her house (a major detour...) then we will, but I am sure any B&N would have them. They're classics. I'm also going to ask around on fb.

I can do this!

lol Here I am being all proud of myself... This is just getting weird.